Silence: Taking a Break

As someone who’s always been busy with creative projects, it feels strange to have nothing going on right now. Usually, there’s always something — a side project, a deadline, or just an idea to work on. But lately, it’s been unusually quiet from my side, and I wanted to share why. Maybe this will even be the start of a more personal blog. Who knows?

The truth is, my mum was diagnosed with cancer last October. Since then, everything else has taken a backseat. I decided to move in with my parents and to be there for them. I’m thankful I’ve been able to do that and that the company I worked for supported me doing this.

These days, I’m traveling back and forth between Berlin and Greifswald, trying to balance two very different lives. One is about supporting my family, and the other is about keeping up with the things I need to do for myself. It’s not easy, and honestly, most days it feels like I’m just holding it together.

When I was younger, I always thought sadness made me more creative. It felt like I could channel those emotions in a different manner and create more beautiful things with it. But this time, it’s different. Right now, there’s no room for creating when I’m constantly thinking about the loss that’s coming way too soon. I can’t focus on small things that don’t really matter when something so big is happening.

Quite frankly, the entire incident has me questioning the purpose of what I am doing at work and with my life. I am re-evaluating what really matters to me and which priority I'll give to my work and design in general. Don't ask me how it's going - I am really not sure myself at this point.

Watching someone you love go through something like this is heartbreaking. It’s something I never thought I’d have to face, and it has left me feeling drained, lethargic and just empty. That’s why I’ve decided to take a step back for now. No projects, no work — just time to breathe and be with my family.

I deeply believe that in darkness something new is created. Darkness gives way to ideas and ultimately creation, but that is a process that takes time. And right now, I’m giving myself permission to pause and just take it one step at a time.

I also want to thank everyone for your patience and all the support you offer. I am thankful for my friends, who have been an immense help for me already and to everyone who is giving me some time to figure things out. I shall return one day, hopefully in a much better mental space. Until then, stay healthy and tell the people you love, that you love them. Don't take your people for granted.